Curse of Insomnia
by swirlheart
Summary: Nekozawa can't sleep so he asks the Host club for help. Was this really such a great idea? With the things they're doing, they might just end up killing him. Please read and review!


Ouran High School Host Club belongs to someone else! Not me!

**The curse of Insomnia**

It was a slow day at the Host Club. Very few girls showed up and Kyoya believed that to be the result of upcoming exams that they needed to study for. Now music room three was completely deserted, leaving only the members of the Host Club left. As they started to pack things up they became aware of someone standing in the doorway.

"Hello?" The Host Club's only female turned.

A dark hooded figure slinked back between the gap in the door.

"Nekozawa-senpai?"

Beelzenef poked into the room in lieu of the puppeteer. The cat puppet wiggled about gaining the attention of one unhappy Host Club member. Tamaki jumped about a foot in the air and scurried behind a pillar in fear.

"What do you want?" he whimpered. "If I did anything to upset you, I'm sorry! Just please don't curse me!"

"I'm not here to curse anyone," Nekozawa explained. "I'm here to ask for your help."

Tamaki peered out from behind the pillar. "Oh." He struck a pose and held a rose to his chest. "Well, know that the Host Club is always here for you. What's the problem? Does it involve your adorable sister?"

Nekozawa shook his head and shuffled into the room. "No, it's not that…"

Kyoya glanced up from his laptop giving Nekozawa an expectant look. He knew something the others didn't. "Well, out with it. The sooner you get help for that the better."

Huni appeared from behind the chair Kyoya was sitting at. "You knew about this, Kyo-chan?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact." He typed a few more keys before closing his laptop and adjusting his glasses. "I saw him roaming the halls the other day. He seemed to be more quiet than usual. Then again yesterday; I saw him run head-first into a wall and kept going. I found that quite unusual. You're actions are sluggish and you can't focus very well. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out."

Tamaki stared at him.

"He's tired," Kyoya answered.

A yawn escaped him. "It's true… I am exhausted. But that's precisely my problem. I can't sleep."

"Why not?" Huni asked, holding his pink bunny tight.

"Because, it would seem that I've been cursed with insomnia."

"So there IS a curse!" Tamaki jumped.

Haruhi rolled her eyes. "Well, senpai, what do you think we should do? We can't just leave him like this. He looks like he's about to fall over."

Tamaki recovered and struck another pose. "We will help our dear friend with his trouble! Mori-senpai, the curtains! Kyoya, close the door! We're closed. Hikaru, Kaoru, get Nekozawa-senpai onto a couch!" He snapped his fingers for each name he called.

As everyone rushed to their assigned jobs, the twins roughly shoved Nekozawa onto a nearby couch and high-fived each other. He waited.

Tamaki stood in front of the couch staring at the sleep-deprived student. "Well… uh, now what?" He looked to his friends.

"Knock him out, already!" the twins shouted at once.

"Do I have to_ really _knock him out?"

"No, you don't." Kyoya pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "That won't be necessary. All we have to do is get him to relax."

"That's it?"

He shrugged. "The source of insomnia is usually caused by the person being unable to relax fully. Sometimes it is psychological, but let's make things simple." He turned to the cloaked figure on the bed. "Nekozawa-senpai, do you recall any major events that have taken place around the time you developed insomnia?"

He shook his head. "No, everything's normal." Beelzenef nodded. "I just can't sleep."

"Here!" Huni hopped forward. "You can hold my Usa-chan!" He shoved the pink bunny into his reluctant arms. "Well?"

"Well, I'm not any closer to sleeping if that's what you mean." He pushed the bunny aside.

Tamaki rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "This is going to be difficult."

Haruhi sighed. "Why don't we try different sleep remedies?"

Tamaki blinked. "That's a wonderful idea!" He moved to hug Haruhi, but she was already gone. "Very well, men… Let's do it!"

They made a list of things that might work. Nekozawa sweat dropped, not knowing what to expect. _What have I gotten myself into?_

A few minute later, Tamaki handed him a glass of some kind of creamy liquid.

"What is this?"

"Warm milk," he said proudly. "Huni says that it really works. Go ahead, drink up."

Nekozawa brought the glass to his lips and drank. "Yuck!" He spat it back out. "That's nasty! Warm milk is terrible!"

"Well, at least we tried. Next!"

"Maybe taking an aromatherapy bath would help?"

"Brilliant idea!" Tamaki grabbed Nekozawa and threw him to the twins. "Take him to have a nice hot bath."

"Rodger!"

When they return an hour later, Nekozawa's skin was wrinkly and he smelled like bubble soap and the twins were soaking wet. "It wasn't easy," they said at once. "He fought us the whole way."

"How is that supposed to help?!" the cat-lover barked.

"It was supposed to be relaxing."

"Do I _look_ relaxed?!"

Huni jumped up. "I have an idea! I have an idea! Have him do some training! If he works out, he'll get tired."

"Great job, Huni-senpai!"

"W- Wait a minute!"

For then next half hour they made Nekozawa run around the room, do push-ups, and carry Huni around the room piggy-back style. Needless to say, it didn't work. He collapsed on the couch and refused to move.

"Next?"

"What about a massage?" Haruhi wondered aloud.

Next thing Nekozawa knew, Mori's hands were on his shoulders.

"Great! He'll be asleep in no time!"

They couldn't be more wrong. Instead of relaxing, Nekozawa was gripping the couch cushions and his face was scrunched up in discomfort. Mori stopped and he let out a huge groaning sigh. "Don't do that again! I hate having those hands of yours on me!"

Mori grunted.

"Well, that didn't work… Now what?"

"Lavender, Passion Flower, Lemon Balm, Valerian Root…"

"What are you doing, Kyoya?"

"These are all natural sleep aids," he explained, typing on his laptop. "Rubbing Lavender oil on a person's waists and neck can help them fall asleep, according to this website."

"Wanna try it?"

The twins gave identical evil smiles.

Anyone could see that this was going to be a disaster. The twins forcibly held him down while Tamaki rubbed the oil on his body, soaking his cloak and Beelzenef. Afterwards, they removed his cloak and puppet and went to have them cleaned up. He gave everyone in the room death glares through his baggy eyes.

"Do you guys have any ideas that aren't going to kill me?"

The twins looked at each other. "Lullabies!" they said at once.

_Oh, no_…

It was torture! Too horrible to describe. All the lullabies they picked were either sung off key or too loud. Not very soothing at all. He finally stopped them after the fifth song. It simply was not working.

Next: Music.

Tamaki was told to play something relaxing like classical music or something soft sounding on the piano. He did so, playing for nearly an hour. Around him, Huni and Mori were starting to get tired, but not Nekozawa.

"You can stop now," he told him. Tamaki stopped playing. "That music isn't making me tired at all. I don't find it very soothing to be honest."

Tamaki went to his corner.

"Then let's try this." Kyoya returned with a rather large book in hand. "Story time."

"Are you joking?"

"No," he said, pulling up a chair to sit next to Nekozawa. "I'm quite serious. I'll read from this encyclopedia and hopefully you'll fall asleep."

Kyoya started reading in a low almost monotonous voice. It went on for an hour and a half and he hardly made a dent in the four-inch-thick volume. Mori and Huni were asleep in a chair, Usa-chan on their laps. Tamaki's head was starting to bob from his spot in the corner. The twins were propped up against each other both looking very heavy-eyed. Nekozawa, on the other hand, was staring at the ceiling, wide-eyed. He was the only one not tired.

Haruhi returned from outside holding Nekozawa's cloak and puppet in her arms. "How's it going?"

There was a loud thud and Haruhi looked down. Tamaki had fallen face-first onto the floor, out like a light.

Kyoya looked up, blinking from the strain on his eyes for reading such small print for so long in dim light. "It's working on everyone _but_ the person we had intended." He pointed to the couch.

Nekozawa rolled over. "Nothing's working! I'll never sleep again!"

"Don't say that. Of course you will." Haruhi looked around. What to do, what to do? They've tried everything haven't they, but it wasn't working at all for the Black Magic club president. Wait a minute… could it be..?

She hurried over to the drowsy twins and gave them a shove. They nearly tipped over, but quickly recovered. "It's like history class isn't it, Kaoru?"

His twin nodded. "Yeah, I always get sleepy in that class."

"If this doesn't work, we might have to try sedatives." Kyoya straighten up. "Have you even tried sleeping pills?"

Nekozawa nodded. "They didn't work either."

"Well, I have an idea," Haruhi said. "I'm not sure if I'm right, but it's worth a shot."

"What is it?"

"Well, I was just thinking… We're trying all the things that make us tired, but what about him? He's not tired at all. Maybe we're going about this all wrong."

"How?"

"To fall asleep, you have to make sure you have everything you need to be comfortable. Nekozawa's not comfortable."

"Then what's the plan?" Kyoya asked.

"Well, how about instead of cheery music we use something he likes? Something darker."

Nekozawa's head picked up.

She turned to the man on the couch. "Have you tried anything before you came to us, aside from sleeping pills?"

"Such as?"

"Counting sheep, or counting backwards from 100?"

He nodded. "Yes, those didn't work. That's why I need your help."

"I have an idea. Instead of sheep, try counting cats."

Something clicked in Nekozawa's brain. Why didn't he think of that? He loved cats!

It was Haruhi's turn to take charge. "Ok. I'll need scented candles, tea, a CD player, and a book."

"What kind of book?"

"Something along the lines of Edgar Allen Poe or Shakespeare."

A smile found its way onto Nekozawa's face. "I love their work!"

"Great, now turn off all the lights and make sure that the blinds are closed."

Everyone scurried around the room doing their assigned jobs. In no time, Nekozawa was sitting on the couch with a cup of Chamomile tea in hand and wrapped in a freshly washed black cloak. Scented candles were lit and the aroma of Lavender and Sandalwood filled the room. His beloved Beelzenef was on his free hand, wiggling happily. Beelzenef was much softer and warmer now after being washed. So was his cloak for that matter. A CD player was running a disk called 'Eerie Sounds for a Stormy Night' which basically was a collection of haunted house sounds like creaking steps, wolves howling, dripping water, and fire crackling. Kyoya had found a story on his laptop called 'Annabel Lee' and was told to read it to him. He took a seat in the chair beside Nekozawa.

Huni clung to Mori's pant leg. "This is all way too scary! How could anyone find this relaxing?"

Kyoya started reading aloud from the screen.

It was many and many a year ago,

In a kingdom by the sea

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

By the name of Annabel Lee--

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

Than to love and be loved by me.

They waited. Nekozawa seemed quite happy there on the couch holding his puppet tight. He pulled his cloak up closer around his body and listened to the poem and the rhythmic sounds from the CD player. The rest of the group, on the other hand, was now very much awake and coward in their new surroundings. It was like a haunted house. Most of them still couldn't believe that Nekozawa found this soothing, but, hey; whatever floats your boat.

In the sepulcher there by the sea--

In her tomb by the sounding sea.

Kyoya finished and looked up. "There."

"Morbid much?" the twins asked in unison.

"What a creepy story. How could anyone find that soothing?"

"It was a poem and this is Nekozawa we're talking about."

"Still, I'd have nightmares! How's anyone supposed to fall asleep to that?"

That's when they heard snoring. The Host Club leaned over the side of the couch and peered at its occupant. Nekozawa was fast asleep on the couch hugging his Beelzenef close to his chest, a small smile on his face.

"Damn," the twins whispered together.

"Well," Haruhi said with a shrug. "If all else fails, try the opposite."

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Neko-chan's grumpy huh? You'd be too if you were submitted to that, wouldn't you?

Thanks for reading! PLease review! ^-^


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